Women in Japan: On Being Womanly

Womanhood in Japan is like a souffle.  When rising, it’s soft, delicious, and full of potential.  Behind that potential is the possibility this sweet goodness will fall.  Sometimes the proverbial souffle comes crashing down.  Some days I spend quite a bit of time wondering how my life would be if I were a Japanese woman.  My answers waiver between “just like me now” and “not at all something I’d like to experience.”  This bothers me.

On a recent visit by a high-ranking female foreign dignitary to the tsunami-ravaged remnants of Tohoku, I was told the following by one of the men I was with:  “Foreign women in power still look womanly.  Japanese women, when they become powerful, politicians and the like, they look like men.”  I offered a “Huh” because that’s all I could come up with on the spot.  I’ve pondered this comment since.

What does it mean to be womanly in Japan?  I think of powerful foreign women I know personally and those I’ve seen on television.  I don’t think this man was saying women in pantsuits look manly.  I’ve seen plenty of foreign women in pantsuits.  I don’t think it has to do with hair length, the application of make up, or types of jewelry worn.  I go through lists of what it’s not, and come to one conclusion:  foreign women wear power better than Japanese women, because Japanese women aren’t meant to be powerful.

I ponder this some more.  Powerful women in Japan that I know are usually outspoken—not a flattering trait for a woman here to have.  Powerful women in Japan make decisions and give orders—upsetting the historical balance between who’s wearing the pants in any given scenario.  Powerful women in Japan make their own money—leaving no room for men to “provide for you.”  What was it then about this foreign dignitary that left an impression on this individual as being womanly?  Is it simply a matter of being pretty?  Was she some how able to exude professionalism and competence while not intimidating the men around her?  Why are strong women considered intimidating in Japan?  Why is it better for strong women to be womanly?  I feel like someone has poked my souffle and it’s rapidly falling.  My subconscious is screaming, “Plug the hole!  Plug the hole!”  Before I can, I need answers.  As of now, I'm stumbling, trying to work this through.