I'm back in the US visiting my husband. Life could not be better. I sleep well, laugh, mix work with pleasure, shop, and visit with family and friends. My time is my own in the best way possible.
And, I've lost weight. To many in Japan this makes little sense. The Land of the Obese as the US is known to many Japanese, wouldn't I gain during my visits home? No. Why? It's simple really. I'm not lonely whereas in Japan I am.
There. I said it. The longer I spend time away from my husband the lonelier I feel. Nights are especially troublesome, as insomnia, my latest BFF (unrequited love, a one-sided attraction) will not leave me be. Around midnight when I've exhausted shows on television that waste my time and I can't think of anything else to do I eat. It's the worst time to do so, yes, I know. Blah blah blah. That it's not good for me, that this is when all the junk food I eat (because I can't eat anything good for me) goes to parts that don't need more padding is not the point. I eat because I'm lonely. Food comforts me.
Not having this problem in the States I shrink. My clothes fit better and I will return to Japan with people surely commenting on this noticeable weight loss. All this because when all is said and done, it's okay for people to comment on my weight in Japan. The "You've gained weight" remarks flow too easily for my taste, but short of not eating at 2am I don't see an end in sight.
Which reminds me of a story.
I used to work with a git. A sociopath really, he thought manners were for sissies. A genius in his field, he completely disregarded behavior most of us would consider normal, and because of his knowledge and skill his outbursts of everything otherwise unacceptable was tolerated. He reveled in making people squirm. He lived to make people writhe in discomfort. I really couldn't stand him.
He traveled with an entourage: a personal secretary, personal interpreter, and anyone else he could wrangle into accompanying him, they were all doomed and knew it. On this particular Monday morning we were all waiting in the lobby of the most expensive hotel in town to greet the great man. My job was to interpret for a new executive vice president who was to "learn the ropes" from this madman-ass. I didn't need to interpret for the evil genius, just the new guy. No problem. Bring it.
The elevator doors opened and people started bowing. He'd say something to those who were before us in queue making his way down the line. Patiently waiting our turn, I decided to have some fun. "Twenty dollars, sir, and I'll bet you the first words out of his mouth to me are, 'You got fat.'"
"No way," the executive said.
"Twenty dollars."
"He won't even say 'hello'?"
"No. He won't. Are you in?"
"I'm in. I don't believe you. Yeah. I'm in."
People around us heard this exchange and joined in. Soon I had three other men all agreeing to pay me twenty dollars each if I was right. Suckers.
The terrible man is now standing in front of us. I start in with, "I'd like to introduce Mr. So and So, the new executive vice president of such and such group." The man next to me extends his hand which jerk-face ignores. He grunts instead and then looking at me, cue the quickest $80 I've ever made, he says the words.
"You got fat."
I laugh knowing he hates this because I just beat him at his own game. Never mind I just added money towards my expanding shoe collection, I'm a happy girl even with the totally incorrect observation of my weight.
Shrinking as I have, I'll return to Japan in a few days and this time enjoy the comments I hear about how and why I've lost weight when surely, with all the food I've had access to I shouldn't have. Notice if you must. Too bad I can't make money off this particular prediction.
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