Home again: Part Two

I'm sorry to say, I was one of those people who seriously mocked travelers who carried their pillows through airports.  I'm not talking about the pillows that fit around the neck.  I mean the pillows we sleep on at night. 

"You miss your pillow so much you can't leave home without it?"
"Do you know how dirty that pillowcase is going to be by the time you sleep on your oh-so-precious pillow?"

How many times did I cough out "loser" (to myself, of course) as I passed them at the airport gates?
I now eat my words.  Coming home and sleeping in my bed, I am now painfully aware of how important my pillow is to me.  Yes, sleeping next to my husband feeds my soul.  But, there is truly something about sleeping in my bed with my pillow that makes me cringe at the fact I made fun of those who carried their pillows from city to city.

I am sleeping deeply every night.  I know this because I am dreaming.  My dreams and I have a complicated relationship.  I have nightmares once or twice a year.  The rest of the time, I have strong and vivid dreams.  I like dreaming.  It's proof to me that I am going deep into my subconscious.  I like what I find in my dreams.  I discover meaning there.  Knowing my dreams have been incredibly intense over the past four nights since returning to Boston proves to me I'm sleeping deeply and processing.  This is good.

When the nightmares hit, I know to tell myself, in my dream, "this is a nightmare" and "it's okay to wake up."  I do wake myself up.  I leave the nightmare behind, and think of Sean Connery in his 007 gear saying things like, "Woman, you need to come with me."  Happy thoughts.  The only way I can allow myself to go back to sleep without fear of finding myself back in that nightmare is through Mr. Connery.  To whom I am very grateful, by the way. 

My husband and I, having shared the same bed for over twenty years, now also share what we call "dream transference."  If one of us has intense dreams through the night, the other usually does as well.  Is this a true psychological phenomenon?  We don't know.  We don't particularly care, either.  It's true for us.

It's not that I don't sleep well in Tokyo.  But, truly, the sleep I have had over the past four nights here in my bed and with my pillow is a much more relaxing, deeper kind of sleep, even with the dreams.

All this to say, I will no longer mock those whom I see walking through airports with their pillows, and I will be taking mine back with me to Japan.  I can't take my bed, mattress, and husband back with me, but here's to hoping I won't have to call upon 007 to rescue me from my nightmares once I return to Tokyo.  Will my pillow do the trick?  I'll let you know.