Valentine's Day, gift-giving, and getting away with it.

Obligatory chocolate is what happens when a foreign and imported holiday meets Japanese culture.  Let me explain.

Valentine's Day in Japan is not about cards, roses, or gifts of jewelry and spa certificates.   This is a day where women give chocolate to men.  Period.  Secret crush?  Give him chocolate.  Love of your life?  Chocolate.  Willing to confess your love?  Do it through homemade chocolate.  Boss?  Ah, yes.  Here it is. You give those to whom you "owe" something chocolate as well.  It's not, evidently, just about love and like.  In Japan, giri-choco (giri = indebtedness) is given to someone to whom you want to create a favorable impression, or to whom you owe.  I contemplate this phenomenon and think about all the men I know in Japan, and which ones I might "owe" chocolate to.

Then I ask myself, "Aren't I exempt?"  I decide I'm not.  I, too, owe.  I have a list of whom I should be buying for.  It's long.  What to do....

I tell myself the men to whom I owe chocolate "don't eat chocolate" and "would prefer Japanese sweets instead" and "are married."  It's not that I'm in love with them.  This is obligatory-chocolate.  I owe them a gift.  I'm conveniently busy on Valentine's Day, except for one meeting.  If I don't see them, I don't have to buy for them.  Right?

February 14th, 3:30pm.  I'm sitting across from the man who got me to Japan.  If I owe anyone chocolate, it's him.  I didn't bring any.

"I didn't bring you any chocolate," I say.  "I know that was risky.  Are you mad?"
"Mad?  No.  You did the right thing."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really.  I used to get about 100 boxes of giri-choco every year.  What the hell am I supposed to do with all that chocolate?  Then, I have to give them something on White Day.  You know how much that's gonna cost me?  Do the math.  One hundred boxes for 5000 yen each?  No.  I told everyone last year, 'No more chocolate.'  I'm safe now."
"So, you really don't mind?"
"I wouldn't have accepted it."

Well then.  I guess I'm in the clear.

White Day, by the way, and men outside of Japan might want to jot this date down, is on March 14th, a month after giri-choco day.  On this day in Japan, men give giri-cookies to women who gave them chocolate the month before.  I kid you not.  I much prefer pearls, diamonds, opals, or cash, but it doesn't work that way.  Perhaps White Day needs to be exported?

So, all this to say, I got away with not giving chocolate this year.  Which also means I didn't get to buy myself a box (just in case I think of someone else at the last minute).  My first Valentine's Day without chocolate.  I will just have to make up for it some how.  This also means any cookies I might want to eat on March 14th must be purchased by yours truly.  Ah well.